About Julian Rapaport
Why work with me?
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Not all therapists are created equal. Let me tell you about how I work so that you can decide if we might work well together.
I practice from a psychoanalytic perspective. This means that I see you as the unique individual that you are, not as a diagnosis or disorder. While taking into account the context and circumstances that led you to seek help in the first place, the goal of psychotherapy is to change something within yourself—not your spouse, your boss, or your children. I aim to help you discover and embody the best version of yourself through an exploration of what motivates you, what you care about, what scares you, what excites you, and what you want to change.
Personality fit is important when choosing a therapist. I have been told that I have a therapeutic style that is both gentle and direct. I am a good listener, but I don’t just listen—I also ask hard questions and challenge your thinking, always with curiosity and never with judgment. If you would like to learn more about the way I think, feel free to check out my blog.​​
What is Psychoanalytic Psychology?
​​Psychoanalysis looks at how unrecognized emotions and experiences affect our lives, our relationships, the decisions we make, and the actions we take. The theory of psychoanalysis emerged from noticing that we are not driven solely by logical or conscious thoughts, but that some of the most important decisions we make—such as choosing a partner, a career, or the way we interact with the people in our lives—are driven by unconscious fears, desires, and wishes. Moreover, without awareness of these unconscious motivations, we tend to repeat these patterns of relationships and behavior over and over.
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​Using psychoanalytic psychotherapy, I can help you make these unconscious motivations conscious. Once they are conscious, we can determine together whether or not they serve you well, or whether they may be self-defeating. In general, we tend to develop mechanisms of relating that help us in our families as we grow up. The problem is that these strategies of relating may no longer be useful, or may even be actively harmful. For example, if you grew up in a chaotic environment, you may have learned that it is safer to stay out of the way.
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This defense mechanism—an unconscious psychological process that protects a person from anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings—of retreating from the chaos is likely to have kept you safe back then. However, now that you are older and no longer in that environment, you may still find that you isolate yourself at the first sign of anxiety or uncertainty. Isolating yourself when anxious or scared helped back then, but now it might hold you back from taking necessary risks or from getting the help you may need.
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Alternatively, if you grew up in a household with unpredictable parents, you may have developed a hypersensitivity to what others may be thinking or feeling in order to best prepare yourself for possible outcomes. That can be useful when trying to avoid an unpleasant or harmful interaction, but it may be so automated that you find the potential for danger where there isn’t one or have difficulty trusting the intentions of others. It protected you before, and good thing that it did. But is it helping now?
There is no “one size fits all” approach to personal growth and healing because, well, it is personal. No two people with depression suffer in the same way. No two people who have experienced trauma will respond the same way to any particular treatment. We are all different, and I am here to see you for you.
What Is The Goal of Psychotherapy?
The goal of psychotherapy is to improve your life by changing something about yourself. Improving your life looks different for each of us. You may strive to feel less anxious or depressed, avoid freezing up when facing big decisions, feel more confident, achieve greater professional success, find and maintain stronger relationships, feel less stuck, or develop a clearer vision of what you want your life to look like.
I can help you do this by creating space to reflect on areas of your life that have been on an automatic, unexamined path. This exploration can allow you to know yourself more fully, connect with others more deeply, and achieve emotional freedom that leads to increased agency and change.
Real change requires a meeting of the minds. The intimate, yet boundaried relationship between patient and clinician allows us to observe the patterns that tend to get replayed, recognize them, and determine what you want to be different. If you are seeking to make meaningful change and are prepared to put in the work to do so, I would be honored to walk alongside you on this new path.
"Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility."- Sigmund Freud